One Kenny Rogers over the line

by Bryce Kennedy

April 8, 2003

Career counselors have always told me, "do what you love, and success will follow." Well, I'd love to be Kenny Rogers. Don't get me wrong, I think the current Kenny Rogers is doing a bang-up job. When he sings "The Gambler" or that other song or...the "whatever guy," I'm moved. Consider my heartstrings tugged! Not only that, I think his "Kenny Rogers' Roaster" restaurants are the best in the biz. Spot on! I'm just saying that maybe it's time for the old man to step down and let a rookie like me have a go at it. I just think I could take this whole Kenny Rogers thing to a new level. No offense to Kenny, but if I had been Kenny Rogers all this time, I would probably own most of Europe and South America by now. I'm just saying.

Anycrap, I put on my best suit and tie yesterday and went down to my local "Kenny Rogers' Roasters" restaurant to apply for my desired position. I submitted my resume to their "secretary" at the counter. In order to avoid any confusion about my intentions, I made sure that, in the "Career Objectives" section at the top of the page, I typed, "To be Kenny Rogers" in bold letters.

They have my information. Now, I just have to wait by the phone. Ring, damn you, ring!!!